Poem: At CrossRoads

At CrossRoads

We’ve been the best of friends, in times of thick and thin.
In stormy clouds and seas, you’ve sailed alongside me.

Under the Mulberry tree we played.

I couldn’t imagine that someone like you would just waltz in
to my life.

The times we had together, the memories we shared.

Things are changing, but maybe we’ll see each other again.

I’m leaving soon, and so are you. Will you be back when I am?

There’s no time now. I have to leave, will you see me off like you always did?

But of course you have your own road to walk

It’s a pity my stop’s not on the way.

But maybe we’ll see each other down the road, if they cross.

Would you be willing to cross the street if you saw me on the other side?

Between us are cars that will never stop. Everyone’s on their own path now.

But I still remember, do you?

The sunshine between leaves that flutter with our laughter.

There’s time. We’ll make it somehow.

I know we will.

You were always one to sing with me.
You were always there.

Until you weren’t.

But beside me on the empty swing, if I close my eyes, I can almost see your shadow, and hear your laughter.

Before me was a shadow, I was never alone, but sometimes I still wish, it wasn’t only me.

The leaves rustle, but there’s only one voice now.

When I heard you were coming back, I rushed to see you.

You were there, and I shouldn’t complain, but I missed too much.

It was like seeing you for the first time. Again.

Do you still remember me?

Of course you don’t. But I do.

So I introduce myself again, and you smile that same smile that you always had.

When and if I tell you that we’ve met before, it will be when that smile becomes genuine.

And when I tell you, I hope it’ll be like it always was.

When you held me. And I held you.

Because I forgot to tell you

When we were still children

That I love you.

And I still do.

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Afterword

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My childhood best friend and I were always together. Through our differences, through our disagreeableness, we were friends. To my oddities she accepted, and to my whims she laughed and danced, indulgent. And so one night when she admitted unto me the secret she so feared, and I could do little more but hold her hand, did I despair.

Would that it had been enough.

Through the romanticized surety of our everlasting friendship I had returned, but not soon enough. When we met again things had changed, for better or worse, and I realized then it was Time to let go.

To let go of the friend I had known since my tender years, had wished to continue knowing.

But it was no longer mutual. Would that she smile with me as she did then and fill the air with merry laughter once more, but such is buried in the past and at the least, I have the memories true.

Though she no longer loves me, has my heart bled red for her, platonic though my affections may be, my love for her is no less true.